As I sit here writing at 5 in the morning I can’t help but wonder where I will be a year from now. 5 years from now. 10. Lawd my mind really races on late nights like today. I don’t mind though, for it’s during this time that my creativity is at it’s peak.
I just feel like I’m always worrying. Worrying about a job, what’s next, feeling like I have to sensor myself on social media, trying to plan out when I’m going to hang with friends, worrying about my friends feelings some type of way towards me because I haven’t been able to hang out that much as of late. WORRYING ABOUT NORTH KOREA AND THIS DAMN BOMB THEY GOT ON STAND-BY! I can’t.
When will I get to just genuinely relax for an extended period of time. I check my email like every 5 minutes. Constantly waiting for that email that will change my life. If only it were that easy. I was laying all of my frustrations down to my mother at the beginning of the summer and she sat there and looked at me and said “Jaleel do you see all of the things you have accomplished in such a short amount of time? Stop thinking about what you don’t have and focus on all that you’ve done-if only for a moment.” I really sat there like hmmmm
I think since this is going to be the first time I won’t be heading back to school and will actually be out in the world it has me feeling a wide range of emotions- nervousness, excitement and unprepared, but you know what- I’m Jaleel muthafucking Campbell. I got this.